The science of sex, love, and attachment | Dr. Helen Fisher: Full Interview

Big Think June 13, 2025
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Big Think exists to make you smarter, faster. Through conversations with the world’s brightest thinkers, we bring you the ideas shaping the future of science, philosophy, culture, and the human mind. Our library of thousands of videos distills complex insight into clear, actionable wisdom for how to think, work, and live in a changing world. Meet legendary teachers like philosopher Daniel Dennett, physicist Brian Cox, classicist Mary Beard, psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, political scientist Ian Bremmer, anthropologist Helen Fisher, and hundreds more — all sharing the ideas that define our time and the questions that will shape our future.

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Become a Big Think member to unlock expert classes, premium print issues, exclusive events and more: https://bigthink.com/membership/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=yt_desc “Nobody gets out of love alive. We all suffer. We all have disappointments. It’s such a powerful brain system.” Subscribe to Big Think on YouTube ► https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvQECJukTDE2i6aCoMnS-Vg?sub_confirmation=1 Up next, How to date, mate, and find fulfillment ► https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QJ3M8M_RU8 Why do we fall in love with one person over another? The late biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher unpacks the evolutionary roots of romantic love, sex, and attachment. Using research derived from the ethnographies of hunter-gatherer societies and fMRI brain scans Fisher explains how love functions as a powerful survival mechanism. 00:00:00 A life shaped by love and curiosity 00:00:17 What was growing up like for you? 00:00:47 When did you first learn about sex? 00:03:30 What is the importance of sex in our lives? 00:06:13 How did your family life lead you to study the brain? 00:08:19 Is love supernatural? 00:09:23 Love is a drive, not a feeling 00:09:33 Why did humans evolve in a way other mammals did not? 00:17:18 How did you conduct your FMRI studies? 00:19:14 What did you find in your FMRI studies? 00:21:30 Did you think about the reviewer who called love “supernatural”? 00:21:54 Could you describe your next study? 00:24:15 How can this information be used? 00:26:12 How to make love last 00:28:25 How can we maintain a long-term relationship? 00:29:19 What is science doing to expand our understanding of love? 00:30:13 What work do you do with Match.com? 00:34:37 How is online dating affecting love? 00:37:22 What is “slow love"? 00:41:07 How are millennials approaching love? 00:43:31 Are men and women different? 00:53:59 Why are millennials different? 00:55:16 Does this change from city to city? 00:57:27 Does sex, love, and attachment always happen in that order? 01:05:04 What are the findings of your work? Read the video transcript ► https://bigthink.com/series/full-interview/helen-fisher-science-of-love/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=video&utm_campaign=youtube_description ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Go Deeper with Big Think: ►Become a Big Think Member Get exclusive content, early, ad-free access to new releases, and more. https://www.youtube.com/@bigthink/membership/ ►Get Big Think+ for Business Engage learners like never before with high-impact video microlearning from the biggest thinkers in the world. https://bigthink.com/plus/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=video&utm_campaign=youtube_description ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- About Helen Fisher: Helen E. Fisher, Ph.D. biological anthropologist, was a Senior Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, and a Member of the Center For Human Evolutionary Studies in the Department of Anthropology at Rutgers University. She wrote six books on the evolution, biology, and psychology of human sexuality, monogamy, adultery and divorce, gender differences in the brain, the neural chemistry of romantic love and attachment, human biologically-based personality styles, why we fall in love with one person rather than another, hooking up, friends with benefits, living together and other current trends, and the future of relationships — what she called: slow love.

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