How to Communicate With a Defensive or Conflict-Avoidant Partner - Terri Cole

Terri Cole April 23, 2024
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Terri Cole

@terri_cole

About

Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist and relationship expert who helps women heal from codependency and create more fulfilling relationships with boundaries. Through her work and 25+ years of experience, she has empowered thousands of women to stop over-giving and to be authentically seen and heard. Check out Terri's three books: Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free: https://boundarybossbook.com The Boundary Boss Workbook: https://boundarybossworkbook.com Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency: https://hfcbook.com Terri's signature course is Boundary Boss Bootcamp: https://terricole.com/boundarybootcamp Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/terricole/ Community: https://terricole.com/tcm Podcast: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-terri-cole-show/id1038357955?mt=2 Please note that there are some affiliate links on this channel and as an Amazon associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Video Description

Does it ever feel challenging to get through to your partner when you’re in conflict? Do they become endlessly defensive when you raise an issue? Or do they bring up unrelated problems they have with you or the relationship? Are you the defensive one? Many of you have written in to ask about navigating issues with defensive or conflict-avoidant partners. This episode is my answer. We’ll cover why clean conflict and fair fighting are critical to successful relationships, what this looks like in practice, and tips for having healthier, constructive conflict. Download the guide for this episode here: https://www.terricole.com/how-to-communicate-with-a-defensive-or-conflict-avoidant-partner-guide For a deep dive into effective communication in any relationship, check out my 3-hour workshop with Mark Groves here: https://crushingcommunication.com *Time Stamps* 0:00 - Introduction 2:45 - Why clean conflict is important 4:09 - Choosing your battles 5:20 - Responding vs reacting 7:12 - Check your assumptions 8:16 - No below-the-belt tactics 11:00 - Handling conflict-avoidance and defensiveness 14:00 - Proactive strategy to lessen conflict *If You Enjoyed This, Watch These Videos* https://youtu.be/thPuQxYeWw0 - 7 Strategies to Stop Being So Defensive https://youtu.be/xpkjFkhK6tg - Effectively Communication During Conflict Without Making It Worse https://youtu.be/Ge34zyIhBRI - Stop Being Defensive and Learn to Listen https://youtu.be/VdOTxgYPxgc - 4 Appreciation Rituals for Lasting Love https://youtu.be/AR956vHGpek - Epic Relationship Infrastructure https://youtu.be/Gbb-VOXfFRk - When and How to Fight *About Terri Cole* Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free. For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs. She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over 450,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see https://www.terricole.com/ *Connect With Me* Instagram: https://terricole.com/ig Community: https://terricole.com/fbg TC's VIPs: https://terricole.com/membership Newsletter: https://terricole.com/newsletter *Resources* Boundary Boss Book: https://amzn.to/44DZID9 The Boundary Boss Workbook: https://amzn.to/3Ra7CRU Insight Timer: https://insig.ht/cpKnbJB4KDb (I have a bunch of free meditations on here and love this app!) BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/terricole I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources. https://www.terricole.com/gethelp/ -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help. _Please note: If you choose to sign up for BetterHelp or Insight Timer or buy through my Amazon links, I will receive a commission. Please know that I only recommend services and products that I know & trust._ #terricoleshow #effectivecommunication #relationshipadvice #communicationinrelationships

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