why asian parents don't say i love you (a deep dive)

Video Description

Why do Asian parents never say "I love you"? Well, it turns out there's more to this phenomenon than just "actions over words." 0:00 Intro 2:30 Exploring cultural differences in using "I Love You" 13:06 Love, social hierarchy and power dynamics 20:56 A future where asian parents say i love you more? 25:25 Conclusion ----- xxx ------ Patron shoutout! Thank you AustinTim, Big AI, SwiftStyle, Terra Angela, WongKarWaifu, Curryninja, Foxfirex23, jambo, Ricardo Thered, Val K, ya Bum, Yifu Liu, Kieran Moran and Arthur Wiedemann from the "no, you have it" tier! And of course, a big big thank you to all my patrons :) Come say hi at: - patreon: https://www.patreon.com/aini_ - ig: @aini.mov - x: @aini0970 - tiktok: @aini0970 💌 business enquiries only: [email protected] my gear! note: below links are affiliate links that help me out but come at no extra cost to you :) - camera: sony a6400 https://amzn.to/3wqidQF - mic: audio technica atr2100x https://amzn.to/4b1Y0Q9 - teleprompter: neewer https://amzn.to/3QAVhVC - softbox: mountdog https://amzn.to/3UxNpp7 - tripod: bosch https://amzn.to/44Icxyc ----- xxx ------ References Ahhhh I enjoyed reading up on all the research for this video so much, if I had to recommend one paper to read from the list it would be Potter's work!! She made a lot of insightful and heartbreaking observations on the repression of emotion as she observed rural Chinese villagers, and she had such incredible comparisons of cultural differences in saying i love you between China and America. Such a good read! Academic references Caldwell-Harris, C., Kronrod, A. and Yang, J. (2013). Do more, say less: Saying ‘I love you’ in Chinese and American cultures. Intercultural Pragmatics, 10(1). doi:https://doi.org/10.1515/ip-2013-0002. Hsu, F. L. K. (1981). Americans and Chinese: Passage to differences (3rd ed.). Honolulu, HI: University of Hawaii Press. Potter, S.H. (1988). The Cultural Construction of Emotion in Rural Chinese Social Life. Ethos, 16(2), pp.181–208. doi:https://doi.org/10.1525/eth.1988.16.2.02a00050. ‌ Wilkins, R. and Gareis, E. (2006). Emotion expression and the locution ‘I love you’: A cross-cultural study. International Journal of Intercultural Relations, 30(1), pp.51–75. doi:https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ijintrel.2005.07.003. ‌ Yum, J.O. (1988). The impact of Confucianism on interpersonal relationships and communication patterns in east Asia. Communication Monographs, 55(4), pp.374–388. doi:https://doi.org/10.1080/03637758809376178. Sources Chung, C. (2014). Why Chinese parents don’t say I love you. [online] The Sydney Morning Herald. Available at: https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/why-chinese-parents-dont-say-i-love-you-20140304-341ws.html. edu.sina.com.cn. (2014). 外媒看中国：为什么中国家庭不说‘我爱你’. [online] Available at: https://edu.sina.com.cn/en/2014-02-26/115179225.shtml Grego, R. (2022). Saying ‘I love you’ across cultures: Personal intimacy in High/Low Context Cultures - Infinite Discoveries. [online] Available at: https://infinitediscoveries.org/saying-i-love-you-across-cultures-personal-intimacy-in-high-low-context-cultures/ ‌ Lander.edu. (2018). The Main Concepts of Confucianism. [online] Available at: https://philosophy.lander.edu/oriental/main.html. Video references Steven Lim: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26en95whUAk TreeMan: https://youtu.be/Tn3tqSYe3ws?si=IX0bPyPe1TKbW5Dc Arirang news: https://www.youtube.com/@ArirangCoKrArirangNEWS BGM Demxntia - say "i love you" https://youtu.be/7-7hyBT0yH0?si=K7kMk_ykckegiMhN Liszt's Liebestraum No. 3 lofi version by D. Park: https://youtu.be/yJ1KwnOI_qE?si=pYeuDekloBTmRckt Yellow - Coldplay (Cover by Si Mun x Jarron, orig. Chinese cover by Katherine Ho) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeXADqlqK_Y Thanks for watching! 💓 Tags: video essay, cultural commentary, social commentary, internet analysis, analysis video, asian parents, i love you, love, expressions of love, love languages, acts of service, words of affirmation, east asia, sociocultural essay, verbal expression, love through actions, cultural norms, parenting styles, asian parents, asian culture, asian family, cultural differences, bicultural upbringing, asian diaspora, asian values, nonverbal communication, asian communication styles, emotional expression, cultural beliefs, filial piety, traditional parenting, confucianism, china, korea, japan, chinese culture, korean culture, japanese culture, asian relationships, parent child relationship, asian parenting, cultural expectations, asian traditions, intergenerational relationships, parental love, east asian cultures, edvasian, rotten mango, mina le, gabi belle, not even emily, chinese with mia, kookielit